Confessions of a Chocaholic

I read a certain book while I was in secondary(high) school about this girl who was on a plane that was going to crash. In wild fear, she began to tell her deepest,darkest secrets to the guy beside her, who turned out to be the owner of the company where she worked. The plane did not crash. Needless to say, it did not end well.
As a glutton for disaster, I'm taking the plunge and I have decided to purge myself of these things that have been weighing me down for years on end.....
1)I never read the complete version of Romeo and Juliet. I only read a synopsis and some key quotes so that I can pretend that I've read it. There. I've said it.
2)I think Johnny Walker-all of the labels-red, black,blue,violet,etc-is horribly B-I-T-T-E-R. yuk. I honestly don't see the hype.
3)Ditto caviar. Fish eggs, I ask you. eewww.
4)I hate thongs and g-strings and all underwear that don't actually have fabric. I've never even worn one. Gimme VPLs anyday, as opposed to a wedgie, thank you very much.
5)I am a certified chocaholic, with no hope of recovery.
6)I almost turned out to be an atheist, until Jesus personally introduced himself to me. I quickly freed that atheism stuff, let me tell you. It was terrifying. It was awesome. Up Jesus.
7)I don't have the foggiest idea what 'blog' means. Seriously.
8)I love old things. I mean really old. Old movies, old books, old movies. I like all these archaeological digs, but I can't ever go on any of them, all that sand and dirt, you know.
9)I hate work. My lifelong dream is to be a kept wife. Wishful thinking. I wanted to own a big plaza and leave it in the hands of a capable manager. Naija salesgirls quickly cured me of that little dream...
10)I was always under the impression that I was going to marry the Wildchild. I'm as serious as a heart attack. All we had to do was meet, and the rest would be romantic history. Alas. What happened to us?
11)I want to have Hugh Jackman's baby. Or George Clooney, I'm not picky.
12)All I really want is a Mercedes G class or a drop top kompressor with Louis Vuitton seats( you gotta have Louis in your ride).
13)I think the best Nigerian rappers are MI(obviously) and Mode9. NaetoC would've made the cut, but his lyrics are so not the ish. I do not like Wande Coal, I think he's in the wrong genre. But that's just me thinkin. D'banj has jazzed Nigerians. That's the only explanation for the success of his wack lyrics. I think BankyW and Asa are two of the best lyricists in the country. Each to his/her own genre. Dare Art Alade is in a class of his own. He's brilliant. Cobhams is the best. And that's the end of the HipHop class.
14)I want to get married in air force ones, or converse sneakers, at the very least.Diamante studded, of course.

I'm exhausted. This confession thing is more draining than I thought. A bientot.